Swine: a worthless or unpleasant person. Swine + Daniel Thomas = dickhead. Swine + post-punk = Swine Tax. I was never good at maths at school. Biology, though, I got a decent grade in that subject, and all this recent coronavirus talk is bringing back memories. In year eleven, my school headteacher Mr Cough (no joke!) got swine flu after eating at his local takeaway. Thankfully he survived the horrible ordeal and became a vegan. As the saying goes, all’s well that ends well.
Talking about swine flu, Newcastle Upon Tyne based Swine Tax have a new single out, Browsing, and it’s infectious and contagious. If you play it in the shower real loud, your neighbour won’t knock on the wall and tell you to shut up. Instead, he’ll do the complete opposite and blast it through his speaker. It will spread from house to house eventually taking over the world. I can see the news headlines now: “Swine Tax slows down productivity in the UK due to excessive dancing and headbanging”. Naughty.
It’s not fake news either. Browsing is coursing through my veins as we speak. As well as being highly addictive, it’ll bring the anarchist out of you too. Boris Johnson, I don’t like him. Ian Duncan Smith, neat haircut. Who cut it? Your nan. Yes, you’ll throw insults at every Tory you see. Very naughty.
I love Swine Tax and their new single, Browsing. It’s probably one of my favourite songs of 2020 so far. Either that or the virus is kicking in. Yes, I’ve got Swine Tax. I can’t stop doing the floss, and I’ve been dabbing for the past couple of minutes. For fuck’s sake! Cheers.
