All my plants are dead. I’m not joking, they are. I had Nigel, the cactus; he lasted a few months. Sandra, the sunflower; she died about a week ago. Then there was my best friend, Pete; he was a bit of moss who sadly passed away after I stood on him – poor lad. Yes, I do like to name my seedlings. No, I’m not a murderer.
Moving swiftly on, All My Plants Are Dead is now the name of a song by Manchester-based shoegaze/dream-pop band Crush. I initially thought Alan Titchmarsh had heard about my gardening skills from a neighbour and had emailed to say I should quit cultivating potential victims. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, and I’ve just ordered fifty-five exotic trees. It’s all getting out of hand. Pete, please say something. Oh yeah, he’s dead. RIP: 1st January 2020 – 2nd January 2020.
No, I didn’t receive any correspondence from Titchmarsh. It was actually a request from a PR company stating the following: “Daniel, you better review the new Crush single, All My Plants Are Dead, or we’re telling the police about your past exploits.” Crap! I better cancel that delivery of those flowers. Here’s the piece about the band.
Manchester is well known for its music scene. There’s Bethlehem Casuals, Rosey PM, Ask My Bull, too many to mention, but Crush is my new favourite. Yeah, that’s right, they’re the best. What are you going to do about it Working Men’s Club? Ring Charlie Dimmock?!? Oh, you will. Ok, I’ll shut up. Can I carry on with the article? Cheers!
Where was I? Oh yeah, Crush are the best! Don’t just take my word for it, though. Press play and enjoy the theme park that is All My Plants Are Dead. It has plenty of twists and turns, ups and downs, but a sombre feeling persists throughout. As a passenger, I felt slightly downbeat listening to this record. Maybe it’s Amber Warren’s desolate words or the subject matter. The lyrics do push the message of selfishness and self-indulgence. Whatever it is, All My Plants Are Dead ends optimistic, and that’s what I like about Crush. They don’t leave you down or upset; they hug you and say everything’s ok.
All My Plants Are Dead is a gloomy, yet hopeful piece of music perfect for any melancholy playlist. I’ve added it to mine, and you better do it too, or I’ll call Titchmarsh and Dimmock and tell them about your garden.