Due to the current pandemic, UK PM Boris Johnson has requested that everybody must only go outside and exercise once a day. I woke up at 6 am this morning and needed a little fresh air. While walking around the block with the dogs, Basil and Cauli, I noticed a weird trend; everyone was jogging. I counted twelve individuals sweating profusely and sprinting like a zombie charging after their next meal. I got scared and ran home. Crap, I thought, I’ve become part of the cult. Anyway, I now need to exercise twenty times a day. It’s become a bit of an issue.
Thankfully, I’m in luck! Deeside-based garage-punk band Chupa Cabra sent over their new single, Russian Models, to the Independent Music News email yesterday. I can listen to that and throw my arms and legs about the room without remorse. Watch out, wife; I can’t control myself. Hayden Hughes’ brash and unapologetic words combined with Nathan Bailey on bass and Tayt Cockell on drums is a recipe for disaster in this household. We’ve had to bubble-wrap everything in the flat; nothing is safe. As soon as Russian Models plays, I’m a different man. Maybe it’s the lyrics, the suggestion that Russian girls are robots. Perhaps everyone jogging is a robot. Is AI taking over the world?!? I’m scared.
Let’s get serious for a second. Chupa Cabra, you’re legends, and Russian Models is a cocaine covered, heavily charged and animated classic. Now that I’ve had my daily dose, I’m going to dart around the garden. Possibly do a couple of rolly-pollies too.
Before I go, I must mention; Russian Models is out today on Trashmouth Records. Naughty. Right, go and enjoy the song. Leave me alone.