I’m not going to lie. I knew nothing of Basciville until a lovely lady called Jenna O’Neill shared their latest record Post Youth on an IMN Facebook post. I was that intrigued I even took my MacBook Air to the toilet and played the song while having a poo. Or maybe it was a wee? Probably a tinkle. Who cares! Basciville are talented wee laddies (I’m not even Scottish. Where did that come from?). They rock that much, I pissed all over the wall, floor and ceiling dancing to their soulful tune. I’m a dirty bastard, but it was so worth it.
Anyway, I really wanted to meet the brothers behind Basciville. Yes, they’re brothers. We got into a little role play too, which seems a little weird now. It’s not Game of Thrones.
I hope you enjoy the interview. Please don’t get creeped out. I’m not a weirdo or on crack. Promise.
Hello Cillian Byrne and Lorcan Byrne of Basciville. Let’s participate in a little role play. We’ve just matched on Tinder, sell yourself.
First question. Are you ready?
So you’re from Wexford in Ireland. Is it an interesting place to live? I’ve never heard of it.
CB: It’s a relaxing place to live…
Do you have a job? What do you do?
LB: Does being a full-time cool dude count as a job? If not, then I guess I’ll go with musician.
You’re not unemployed, are you? I’ll have to unswipe. Where would we go on our first date? Are you paying the bill? You better be.
LB: Wetherspoons in Dub Laoighre. I’m a modern adult so I strongly believe in splitting the bill. And I’m a musician so maybe you might have to pay.
For fuck sake, you’re a catch. Do you play any instruments? Please redeem yourself.
CB: Guitar, bass and piano. And anything else that will impress you.
You kinky boy. Are you in a band?
CB: Yes! I’m in a cool outfit called Basciville.
Have you released any songs?
CB: We’ve released a few, yes. They’re all available on a little start-up platform called Spotify.
Never heard of it. Would you make me a record? What would it be about?
LB: Sure. It would be a concept album about the current Korean-US trade war. The first single would be called Kim Jog-on.
You’re bloody turning me on. Stop it, young man. Where can I follow you? I want to send you pictures of animals
LB: We are present on all social media platforms. Use the Basciville handle for all your visual pleasure.
Do you like cats, dogs or both?
LB: Cats and dogs are great. Did you know the house cat is the most effective and efficient predator on the planet? And dogs look funny in hats.
They do. I like your photos on Facebook. What’s your favourite picture of the band?
LB: Thank you very much. You’re such a flirt. I guess I would have to go with the one of us necking that naggin with Obama.
I feel like we’ve really connected as human beings. If we got married, where would the venue be?
CB: Eh ok. It would have to be at a Church of Scientology. Hope that’s not a deal breaker for you.
No, that’s a beautiful venue. Now that we’re married, where should we live?
CB: That was easy! My Scientology house of course! The bunk beds are moderately comfy!
They better be. One last question, what is something you’ve learned this week?
LB: One thing I’ve learned this week is that a general level of cardio fitness makes most aspects of your life easier.
Interesting. Well, it was nice to meet you. Any last words….
LB: Are we still married?
Yes. Where’s my Scientology house with bunk beds? It sounded like such a good life.
Basciville unswiped you.