I woke up at the crack of dawn. A regular Monday to Friday routine. I got in the shower, washed my sweaty body and greasy hair, then proceeded to walk downstairs for my daily helpings of three Weetabix and milk. You need to live life to the full, so I helped myself to a tablespoon of sugar. I might get diabetes, but it spices up my morning.

After that exciting start to the day, how could it get any better? Then I remembered, I was going to see Body Type, Chew Magna and PVA live at YES in Manchester. YES, I didn’t know where the venue was. YES, I used sat-nav to get there. I was a little unsuccessful, though. I nearly run over a man. I wish I knew his name. I’d say sorry and mention him in this review. Anyway, sorry man.

When I finally found the car park near the venue…

*Tangent alert, tangent alert*

Shout out to Charles Street car park. What it lacked in appearance, it made up for in price. For four hours of parking, I paid two pounds. I was very happy when I made my way back to the car. I even bought myself a McDonalds McFlurry on the way home. Cheers lads.

*Tangent alert over, tangent alert over*

…I was buzzing because it was only two minutes away from YES. What? YES, the venue. When I arrived at the door, the lovely bouncer directed me to the basement. I was a little surprised with how forward she was, but I clearly had high hopes because that’s where the gig was being held. YES, the basement. To be fair, it was a brightly lit basement with a bar. I love a good bar. I walked over and bought a coke because I was driving. Note to the police, I did have a coke. Check the CCTV. Please don’t arrest me.

On to the music, PVA kicked off the proceedings. Not the glue, dummy. The band, PVA from Manchester. They were bloody good too. I even bobbed my head once or twice. I don’t usually do that kind of thing, but I think the “Coca-Cola” kicked in. Before I knew it, they started playing the song Talks. You can listen to it here:

Well anyway, my body started doing some weird thrust. I felt slightly embarrassed so I walked over to the bar again to buy another non-alcoholic drink, officer.

Then, Chew Magna walked on to the stage. They were very attractive individuals. Maybe it was the drink talking but the guy with the moustache was beautiful and very well dressed. I think I have a man crush. Call me.

What can I say about Chew Magna’s music? It’s really aggressive. At one point, I thought the lead singer was going to uppercut my chin. It needs a good slap to be honest. Might sort my life out then. In all seriousness, I want to make babies to their live performance. It might be awkward for them, but it’ll be fun for me.

Now I’ve made this review awkward, let’s move on to Body Type; the headliners. I want to proclaim my love for Body Type too. Seriously, was I really just drinking coke? Maybe I was spiked.

Body Type is an amazing band. AMAZING. Live, they dance around the stage like no ones there. You can tell they love playing music together. It was nice to see. I wish I had friends like that. I don’t. Sorry, Steve, you can’t play the drums or guitar. We can’t have that connection like Body Type do. Check out their music below.

My sign off. I had a McFlurry on the way home, but they forgot to add the Cadbury chocolate bits. Bastards.